I know some pretty grave disciplinarians. Some of my fellow parents, and even some of my friends, spend lots of energy disciplining their kids. As opposed to finding ways to work with them, they figure out ways to make them obey blindly. I understand that it is important to have obedient kids, but I think there are better ways to manage it than by punishing them. Punishment is essential, but the most important thing is to make the kid feel as if a part of his or her own life. If he or she understands that the determinations that he makes matter, he will be more likely to obey what you say. With freedom comes accountability, but with responsibility also must come freedom.
I always make an effort to include the children in determinations about household decorations. For instance, they need to take care of cleaning the bathroom, but they get to select the kids shower curtains. They have to keep their bedrooms clean, but they get to choose children blankets. They switch who gets to pick out the kids shower curtains. This time, it's my daughter's turn. She has chosen a frog shower curtain which is one of the most delightful things that I've ever seen. Her kids shower curtains will stay up for the next two weeks, during which time she has to take care of the bathroom. After that, one of the other kids shower curtains gets to be put up.
I did not come to this determination randomly. I don't let them put up their own kids shower curtains because I have given up on getting them to listen to me. On the contrary, I want them to listen to me. I wish to teach them that with work comes benefits. If my son wishes to put up his lighthouse shower curtains, that's fine, but he needs to keep the tub altogether clean. If my youngest daughter wants to put up her children shower curtains, she has to try cleaning the bath herself.
She is very youthful, and has not been given chores yet, but soon she will. As opposed to dreading them, she will in actuality enjoy them. She will see them as a sign that she is getting to the age where she enjoys the same rights and privileges as the older kids. The children shower curtains stand for this, as do their sheets.
Including The Children In Coming Up With Ideas That Are About Redecorating Their Bathroom
I know some pretty serious disciplinarians. Some of my fellow parents, and even some of my friends, spend a lot of energy disciplining their children. Instead of finding ways to work with them, they find ways to make them obey blindly.
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